I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
