i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
