How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
