They should really pass out barf bags in church
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
