Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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