She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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