Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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