A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
