hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
