Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
