like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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