We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
