I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
