Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
