I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
