He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
