Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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