you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
