He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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