thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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