There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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