how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
