Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So vagazzling was a success
did i just pee glitter
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
