"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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