batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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