i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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