Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
