Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry RatedR hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.

Fav 7 1016 3034
share tweet
(240): View more from Maryland

At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka

Fav 21 1297 5737
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

Fav 72 2259 8309
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

Fav 21 5206 2132
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.

Fav 7 1255 6337
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine

Fav 7 3168 1631
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.

Fav 13 2168 3690
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.

Fav 4 985 691
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more

Fav 0 6 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT