The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
