Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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