that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
