Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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