Nicole vs. Life
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Drunk is a universal language darling
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
