Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You can't special order awesome
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
