Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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