Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
