My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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