I cannot find my penis.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
