Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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