ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
