Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
