We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
