I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
