I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
