Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
