I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Found the puke drawer
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
