Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
