Need sex. Gaining weight.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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