the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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