Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize