There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
